The 581C Bucks?

Scientists have discovered the most earth-like planet ever ... in a near-by solar system.

Right now it's official name is 581C.

How earth-like is it you ask?

• Cheney awarded Halliburton the exclusive 581C contract.
• Hillary has already raised 11 million dollars from 581C's "blue" craters.
• Ryan Seacrest is tapped to host 581C Idol.
• The Bucks are moving to 581C unless Milwaukee gives them a new arena.
• Nickelback has 3 songs in the 581C top 20 chart.
• Al Gore thinks he's a movie star on 581C too.
• President Bush has already mispronounced the name 3 times.
• CNN is already losing to FOX NEWS in the 581C ratings.
• 581C today announced their 2117th Starbucks grand opening.
• Airtran has promised direct flights from Milwaukee to 581C if AND ONLY if the Midwest shareholders accept their offer.
• John Kerry has already said something so stupid, that he is unelectable on 581C.
• Bush is already drilling for oil.
• Barry Bonds is the most hated athlete on 581C too.
• Walmart has already put the 'little guy' out of business.
• Residents are thrilled at the proposed new 581C "Deep Tunnel." Their over-flow problems are over!
• Three 581C radio stations have flipped to classic rock in the past month.
• 581C residents can name all 6 kids from SAVED BY THE BELL, but not 581C's 6 continents.
• Oprah is already the richest person on 581C.
• Scientist have already identified two of 581C's bars as "Packer Bars."
• Don Imus is hoping nobody on 581C heard about the Rutgers flap.

And the Most Earth-Like Quality Scientists Have Identified on 581C:

• The Planet's leaders are too locked in a power struggle of partisan bickering to address any of their world's real problems.